Monday, 18 December 2017

EGYPT Day 1

Today I woke up in Cairo with fabulous hair!


My guide Zeinab and her student Amira picked me up in a min bus and took me to the Museum.

Zeinab had her plans to show me the highlights and to share her immense knowledge of Egypt's ancient history, but I was easily distracted by the little things and my poor guides were dragged through every room of the museum.



As you enter there is a semi circle of busts from Greece and Rome. After my many hours of reading about Michelangelo and Leonardo Di Vinci I was intrigued by the sculptured folds in the fabric. You can see in the top image a beautifully crafted sculpture from ancient Rome while the more stylised one below was made much later - the lost art of the ancients in two figures. The art of sculpting realistic fabric folds was lost until the Renaissance.



In The Agony and the Ecstasy many artists debate about the nature of the wings and halos  and how they should be depicted. This cabinet brought tears to my eyes... pre-christian angels with wings.



Nerd Alert! Ancient measure stick!


Nerd Alert! Roman Dice!



Cat People... Cat People... Cat People... Cat People... Cat People...



While hundreds of Chinese tourists push and shove and talk loudly in high pitched voices to crowd around the Tutankhamen , I snuck away into the other sections of the museum to look at the other treasures below.


The photo below is a sneaky one. Behind the ladies seated at the bottom on the picture are Archaeologists in their natural habitat. Earlier this year there were newly discovered tombs in the news. Here we saw a team working on a mummy, measuring it and labelling all the details... very exciting.


I finished a great book recently about the history of colour pigments an the origin of how colours were made from ground stones and plants. Very excite to see this little parcel of "blue".


My Guides among the mummies...


This is a very famous image - published in many books about ancient Egypt. Click on it for detail of the brush strokes.


Then we moved on to a section where many of the depicted people were designed to be realistic and present the actual features of the people they represent. The sculpture below is of a man with a large head. I said that maybe his friends called him "Sniper's Dream" but... no laughs.


Finally these lovely ladies dragged me out of the museum to the pyramids. Here are my contributions to the world. How many times have these been photographed already? Well, here are more photos...





I'm  always intrigued by worn steps and floors... how many thousands of years have worn these pavers down?



Now, my friend Maxine, told me to take photos of people... so here are what can be found on the plateau viewing area for the three great pyramids.







Yes, I'm on a camel and it was the best roller-coaster in the world!


Here is the man that owned the camel I sat on. He has had Barak Obama sit on one of his camels! 


Now the lady in purple in my tour guide Zeinab and she is FAMOUS! People from everywhere come over to say hello. She is the expert Egyptologist that trains all the tour guides and student. She can talk for ages, she know so much detail. Incredible! And a lovely lady. Flew all the way from Alexandra to guide little old me!

We then went to the tomb by the Sphinx. Here are some arty shots.



I was taken by the alabaster floors and said to Zeinab, "Imagine the people who have stepped on these floors!" She said - Julius Caesar, Napoleon, US Presidents.... so here. Have a look at this floor that has held the foot steps of history.




Walking to the Sphinx there are markets.





The Sphinx and then the Sphinx plus Vic.



No I didn't race around the other side to take the picture - just selfy-madness-reverse-image technology.

Now this is the view from the restaurant where we ate lunch.




And that completes the Egyptology section of this blog-post. The rest of these images were taken  on the trip back to the hotel.

I took a lot of images of the empty apartment blocks standing on the outside of Cairo. These are the result of the recent revolution. Once Mumbarak was removed there was limited government controls and hundreds of unlicensed buildings were put up - with no controls over installing foundations, plumbing etc. There are miles and miles of these shonky buildings. Some with a single inhabitant. Apparently they all need to be demolished for safety reasons. The land they are standing on was used for agriculture - now gone.

Tomorrow - more Egypt.




Alternative Tourism Campaign Slogans

Alternative Tourism Campaign Slogan 1: SINGAPORE

On arrival to Singapore I was talking to the Taxi driver who told me it is a very safe place. "No Nonsense" he said.

Singapore - No Nonsense!
(Till you see the architecture)

Alternative Tourism Campaign Slogan 2: EGYPT

While on the hellish flight with the large lady of the grape, the window seat passenger was a young lady from Egypt heading home from her job in Dubai. We chatted and I asked her if I should cover my pink hair and she was shocked... "In Egypt?" she said. "Egypt is just normal!"

Egypt - It's just normal.
(It's fine)

Let's hope more traveller wisdom comes my way in the next few legs of my journey.



The Worst Flight Ever.

Here are my notes from Singapore to Cairo:

So far on all three flights I have worn a white shirt and I have confirmed that they are magnetically attracted to dark liquid such as food or drink and these substances lodge themselves in locations for maximum impact for the wearer. Which I thought was interesting. As I write this, both my white shirts are being laundered by the The Grande Nile Hotel. I'll let you know how that turns out.

On Day 2 of my odyssey I noticed a twitch in my lip here:



I was bored on the plane so I photographed it. Perhaps I should have videoed it. (Note to self: video twitch... the internet wants to know)

So I watched some movies in my 7 hours flight and found... KITTEN TV!! Imagine that! Hours of kittens... just... doing kitten stuff.

Brilliant!

I thought you might enjoy this conversation:

Emirates Steward: Beef or Chicken?
Me: Chicken please
ER: something something something
Me: er... water please
ER: What?
Me: Sorry?
ER: Beef or Chicken?
Me: Chicken Please?
ER: we don't have Chicken would you like Beef?
Me: Er... sure.
ER: Do you want something to drink?

You can guess the rest.

So the first seven hours were fine. Seats comfy, no problem. But then.... as we approached Dubai there was a massive fuck-off storm swirly around the city, so we were in a long holding pattern and I was watching the clock tick closer and closer to the boarding time for my connecting flight... then closer and closer to the flight gate closing time... stress.... lip twitch like a muthfukka.....

As we landed you could see cars driving through deep flooded streets.... in the desert!

So after much kafuffle we are released from the fuselage into the monstrous Dubai airport.... in Section A. My connection is in Section B.

Deep Breath. Ok.

A lady in a funny hat and heels -


Said "Cairo, Nairobi, Amsterdam" about 120 times while legging it across the airport, up and down elevators, caught a train, through security... to pant and puff and .... seriously...??

The connecting flight is being held up by the boarding  of a woman about 100kg in a wheel chair. We have to wait to board (BTW: We are well past the flight's scheduled time to leave, at this stage).. and I follow her down the packed aisle that she can not fit down at all. She won't pull her elbows in and keeps bumping into everything.

She is finally at her seat and then.... the steward says... Madam please take you seat before this lady sits down. What? No! I booked a seat in the emergency section... I'm sure of it. OMG! The ticket says... I'm spending 4 hours next to this lady.

I climb in and and for over and hour we drive around the tarmac then for 2 hours I'm between the window seat and the aisle and this lady has half of her body draped over the arm rest and her elbow in my ribs. Lunch - was impossible. I could not eat with one arm pulled across my body and this woman did her best to spill everything everywhere... oh and just put her shit on my table - nice - I felt like I was in an episode of Seinfeld. Oh and she had a  bottle of red wine! I fucking HATE red wine. It stains everything. It is banned in my home. This wine  goes everywhere ...... drips on my dress -- managed to keep my white shirt out of it... but bloody hell... so uncomfortable - tried to help her mop it up... but stewards were no where to be found. Then she pulls up her tasteful leopard print jacket from the floor and it is drenched in wine... "ARGH" and "NO" I say as calmly as possible as she tries to put it ON MY LAP!

So I'm sitting on one buttock in the corner of my seat away from her to keep the red wine from my shirt and my spine is screaming.

There was ONE man who sat across the aisle who could speak this woman's language - no one else could understand her. Yes, she's travelling alone to Cairo, in a wheel chair with one working arm. That's courageous! So this guy has a conversation with her... and I knew exactly what it was about... I watched her speaking... and he replied with his hand on his heart like he was the nicest guy in the world and then he pointed back to the kitchen in the plane and got up... I knew it... he was going to get her another bloody bottle of red wine.

"Fuck this" I thought, and stood up and squeezed past her and she screamed and  let out all types of hell as I had to try and step past her legs and I turned and said, "I'm so sorry, but I think I have to marry you now"

No one laughed.

Anyway I had planned to spend the rest of the flight standing up when the angel of mercy happened by and found me a another free seat... and low and behold... it was the seat I thought I had booked!!!

In my new location I can see why no steward came to assist us.... Chinese tourists. No one will sit down, no one will do what the stewards ask them to do - going the toilet while landing!!! arguing , shouting, talking at once, driving everyone mad. It was hilarious. As I left the aircraft I said to one of the lovely stewards who never lost her temper "You have the hardest job in the world!"

And then... I was in Egypt!


 



Friday, 15 December 2017

Singapore




So I took these pictures when the Doctor and I went to rescue The Face of Bo and we... hang on... no it's just Singapore.


Just spent the past three hours walking around the Gardens by the Bay and here are a selection of photos to help you feel like you were there.


Nothing says South East Asia than Mi Goreng and Pancakes for breakfast.

Now if you're not into sculpture and art, you might find this section a bit boring.

















So lovely. And something to draw later.

An now for some plants and my entertaining insightful remarks:


Sad cactus slugs no one wants to hug.


Deck the halls with boughs of cactus... ouch ouch ouch ouch ooouch, ouch ouch ouch ouch.



This cactus will not only prick you, it'll totally screw you too!


When North Korea finally unloads all type of hell, we will all live here.


A quick trip to Alpha Centuri Space Module




Me among the enigmatic Puerto Rican Hat Palms. And a boat in the sky.



They are SO enigmatic.


I decided the following picture is the most emblematic of Singapore - Highly stylised trees in front of metal mesh with safety sights and flood lighting. This could replace the lion fish.


Now it''s time for lunch and off to the ZOO!!!






Thursday, 14 December 2017

The hair and the nails and one more sleep!

Well it's been a big week. I have endured a number of injuries and ailments which have finally narrowed to just one excruciatingly painful infected ear. Yay for me.

Yesterday I got my nails down, here's Daph modelling them for you.


This morning I went to the usual place I hide my credit card from myself and... it was not there! Turned the house upside down... went to the bank.... they tried to sell me on the idea of a travel card, but they they admitted that it was just cheaper to use my regular debit card... so... that was weird. Tried to buy some US$ but it took about 20 minutes to work out if they were buying or selling the currency. Seriously! It was like Faulty Towers.

Anyway, while I was lying on the bed getting my legs waxed, I thought... "The credit card might be in my swimming bag"... and low and behold.... it was. Thank God.

Yes, I know. Do you think you can stand the excitement and read on? The stories don't get any better. One positive thing about my blog posts, is that that they are short.

Today was hair dresser day. I liked the cut andd they did a good job lightening the hair, but the pink colour was well... see for yourself.


Peach Poodle!

Nope. It will not do. So off to Hairhouse Warehouse I went and then came home and did this.





Now THAT'S pink hair!

One more sleep and one last sort through my packing to check I have everything and I'm off to Singapore tomorrow afternoon!

See you there!





Thursday, 30 November 2017

The solution to my blogging ills.

Well,  I bought a bluetooth keyboard to work with my iPhone so I can travel light and blog my way round on my trip. Alas, Blogger is not iPhone friendly regardless of the 4 browsers I used with Apps and whatever foolishness I tried.

Here is my solution...


Ahhhh.... that's better!

Only 1.2Kg and mere 26cm x 18cm. The size of an exercise book. $500 ... I wasn't expecting to throw away, but at least my blog can continue.


I have just spent an entire Saturday morning setting up Kaspersky and Nord VPN on my new laptop. Hot Tip: If you get Nord, and I recommend you do, when ever it says "Enter your email address" they mean UserName. So write your Username down somewhere. Oh! And don't use uppercase or special characters in your password because Nord's online database will shut down and sit in a corner and cry.

Blog on! 

Developing a style

One can not show one’s face in the land of the Renaissance with a paint brush and paper without having sorted out what the hell one will do with them.

I had dreams of painting water coulour everywhere, but it’s not always a convenient method, so I decided to go the pencil drawing then over wash with watercolour. I have also decided to halve the number of paints I take to slim down the luggage. I also had a dream of travelling with only carry on, but that is unfeasible. God, I hate checking in luggage!

Here is my new paint tin.





Here are a few sketches (I’ve been practicing).




This is a portrait of Michaelangelo Buonarroti.




This is a portrait of Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci.


This is the Santa Croce where the tombs of Michelangelo and Galileo are flamboyantly installed. (Plus cat tail!)



14 more sleeps!!!!

More on the bat-shit crazy way this blog is made on my iPhone:

It's not. It's impossible. I was about to start a rant on how I have assorted apps to help me edit my blog BUT!!!!! I just couldn't do it with my iPhone. I could create a post in BlogTouch, but couldn't add images or edit it once it was posted. Couldn't use Safari so I added Chrome... which wouldn't let me edit or add images either. Managed to find Puffin which allows me to scroll and add images... but editing the text is IMPOSSIBLE.

Argh! Maybe I should just buy a laptop?






Long time no blog

My hotel in Florence lost wifi in the second week I was there and the hotel in Rome had virtally no wifi and here I am in Sri Lanka trying ...